f.ward

portrait of f.ward by Martin Verrall













f.ward's poetry has been included in many journals and anthologies over the years and she has won several awards, most notably second place in the national People‘s Poetry Award (1999)and most recently the award for best single poem at the 2006 Art Hamilton Literary Awards. She is the author of three solo collections of poetry; "side effects", "Life & Ledger" and "The Writer Seems Unaware…" and editor/publisher of Hammered Out, a literary journal based in Hamilton. She is also a visual artist and you can view some of her work at

www.theward.ca

In honour of Mother's Day...


RATS

as soon as she wakes up
she asks me
"is it tomorrow, today?"
because last night i told her
i could fix Spiderman’s hand
"tomorrow, when i get the right glue"
(i'd already forgotten)

then on the way to
daycare & work
we hear Smashing Pumpkins
on the car radio

"in spite of my rage
i’m still just a rat in a cage"

she likes it, sings along
but gets it wrong

"in spite of my age"

at the daycare
i wave good-bye
through wired glass
watch her turn away
to join the waiting group
of four year old
rats


STICK LIFE

she was telling me
about her day
at school
& how at recess
in the playground
the little boy
with the green jacket
who is mean
stomped
on the special stick
she had planted
in the ground
& laughed

"life is cruel"
i said

distracted as usual
the poet/mother
that i am

"life is broken"
she replied

daughter
of the poet/mother
that she is


A PINK GUN FOR GIRLS

my four year old daughter
begged
for this galaxy pistol
hanging in the toy section
of the dollar store

there she was
snow white butt end
curving sensuously
up to a candy floss shade
of trigger
attached
to a hot pink 8 shooting
translucent barrel
(all the better to see that
pumping action)

she came
with an extension
a silencer sort of thing
lace patterned in white
with red tip

all this
for a buck

she was
made in china
packaged in france
& easily sold
to us north americans
except for the fact that:

i am
a politically correct
conscientious citizen/mother
who is supposed to be disgusted
by such merchandise
& therefore dragged
my sceaming child
away from the offending item
& over to the candy isle
where we bought
a big sucker

for pacification

i snuck back later
& bought it
for myself
(for educational
& research purposes only
of course)

i had to know
if the silencer
really worked


NAKED & THUMBLESS

every time we'd go
to the variety store
around the corner
she'd ask me to buy her
the camouflage
combat outfit
complete with
little black machine gun
made for 12” dolls
(like Barbie)
& i'd say
“no guns…no way!”
but she kept on asking
until this past
saturday morning
when her stepfather
took her over there
to give me a break
& i forgot to warn him
so now Barbie’s
tiny plastic thumb
has snapped off
from being jammed
against the trigger
once too often
by four year old fingers
& my daughter’s
all upset
blaming her stepfather
(in some convoluted way)
& whining at me
while Barbie lies
naked & thumbless
with all the others
in a cold plastic heap
including a
handless Spiderman
& a
headless Harry Potter
all silently waiting
for Crazy Glue